No, you won't. Here are the consequences for believing this myth:
You panic when the feelings wane, and wonder whether the marriage is over and whether you really loved one another in the first place.
Imagine the night of your honeymoon. Your new bride is sleeping. The cotton curtains are gently swaying in the cool breeze. You gaze at her lovely face. You study her soft cheeks. Her long eyelashes. Her beautiful nose, her parted red lips.
And all of a sudden, she snores. How do you react? Because it's your honeymoon, you say, 'How cute.'
Six months down the road, the same scene transpires. Your wife is sleeping. And the same cotton curtains are gently swaying in the cool breeze. And you hear her snore. What do you say? "Ssheeeesh, Honey! You sound like a boat!"
What has happened? The feelings have gone. Let me say this: 'That's normal. It happens to everyone. But it doesn't mean your love is gone so don't panic!
You can make a decision to love the snoring boat.
You start blaming your partner for the loss of love this is nutty. But many people do it: when we don't feel in love, we think it's the fault of the other person. And so we fight him. Again, we fall out of love because we're human beings. It's nobody's fault. The moment you fall out of love, the real work begins.
Let me explain.
This is the most important point I'm going to make.
"Falling in love isn't love."
Here's why. When you fall in love...
- a. No decision is required. Falling in love just happens.
- b. No effort is required. Falling in love is like.... Well, falling.
- c. No hard work is required. Falling in love is being bitten by the love bug.
On the other hand, true love requires all three: Decision, effort and lots of hard work. In the Bible, love is a command. You make it happen. Sure true love can only happen after you've fallen out of love.
When you begin choosing to love, even if you don't feel like doing it ---- that's true love. And that's the foundation of a lasting marriage.
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